Erma Bombeck Quotes

Erma Bombeck Quotes

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Erma Bombeck Quotes

"All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them."
-Erma Bombeck

"Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?"
-Erma Bombeck

"Great dreams... never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, "How good or how bad am I?" That's where courage comes in."
-Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck Quotes
"I was leafing through a magazine where there was a before-and-after picture of a woman who went from a size 5 to a size 3 by liposuction. Was she serious? I've cooked bigger turkeys
than her "before" picture."
-Erma Bombeck

"Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity. To women, it's on the same domestic entry level as putting the spring back into the toilet-tissue holder or taking a chicken out of the freezer to thaw."
-Erma Bombeck

"Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go."
-Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck Quotes

"Phrases and their actual meanings: "My teacher has never liked me." Expect a phone call before lunch from the teacher informing you that your child has been launching hot dogs by compressing them inside a small Thermos and then removing the lid quickly."
-Erma Bombeck

"When it comes to cooking, five years ago I felt guilty "just adding water." Now I want to bang the tube against the countertop and have a five-course meal pop out. If it comes with plastic silverware
and a plate that self-destructs, all the better."
-Erma Bombeck

"Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother."
-Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck Quotes
"When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911."
-Erma Bombeck

"Education is so important when it comes to domesticity. I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows."
-Erma Bombeck

"Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, it's unplanned, it's full of surprises."
-Erma Bombeck

If I Had My Life to Live Over
By Erma Bombeck

Go to Erma Bombeck Biography Page

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