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Famous Funny Quotes...
So You Can Have Laugh

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"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash."
-Jerry Seinfeld


"It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate."
-Dave Barry


"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know
where the hell she is."
-Ellen DeGeneres


"He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house."
-Zsa Zsa Gabor
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Famous Funny Quotes

"A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the
other guy live."
-Bob Hope


"I don't have a bank account because I don't know my
mother's maiden name."
-Paula Poundstone



"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together."
-Oprah Winfrey


"I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my
lawyer thinks he can get me five."
-Steven Wright



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